Midlife Horses | There's something about midlife women and horses.

Our time together lately has been mostly about steady progress…especially for him. Shalimar is helping Dodger not only move well, but once moving, stay moving! She’s helping him do better with his right lead at the canter (not his favorite) and she’s trying to help me ride better. She’s given my seat, back, thighs, calves, heels, hands and eyes all a job to do, but they are so NOT team players!

At this point, riding Dodger feels like what it was like to learn to drive a stick shift. Until my ears learned how to listen to the engine, my left foot learned how much and when to depress the clutch, my right foot learned when to let up on the gas and when to depress it (or when to quickly move over to the brake), my right hand learned which way and when to move, and my eyes figured out where along the road to call the plays, I had some jerky rides. Eventually I learned to shift more smoothly than an automatic transmission. But I seriously don’t remember it taking this long…

When my body parts in saddle and stirrups mount up without reading the Team Memo, I usually end up lugging or revving poor Dodger’s engine. My most typical offense is to be riding along in 3rd gear trying to find 4th, anxious about not hitting reverse, so I overcorrect and downshift into 2nd. I hate that! I guess it’s a phase we’ll have to go through, and Dodger’s being very patient, but I feel for him…

As a greenhorn rescuing a young, green horse based solely on emotion, I ignored all the advice about how to choose one’s first horse. I know I’m not alone out there with this experience. My first lesson (and hardest, still!) came early on when Dodger pulled a few subtle body language tests on my leadership skills, and they blew right past me. By the time he left out the subtlety, I had already trained him to disrespect me. I felt like the student on the first day of school that the teacher (Dodger, in this case) decides is dense then proceeds to expect it. Even though I was determined to change his mind about me, I didn’t know how to do that when he wasn’t offering my first trainer, the only other person dealing with him in the beginning, the same rude behavior. I was hoping to be taught how to put a stop to the behavior once it started by watching my trainer deal with it, but I was missing the fact that my trainer was nipping Dodger’s thought of the rude behavior in the bud before it turned into behavior. I simply couldn’t “spot the thought.” I didn’t know the “tells” or even when to be prepared for them.

Subsequent training has taught me the importance of my intention and how my use of energy and focus affects my results. I have also been taught to recognize more subtleties so I can redirect behavior. All the Horseflix.com training DVDs I’ve been renting have also allowed me to watch several different trainers, methods and horses carefully. I’m able to better spot the “tells.” One of those DVDs introduced me to Carolyn Resnick’s Waterhole Rituals which fascinated me because they’re based solely on herd behavior.

If I had it all to do over again, I would start our relationship with the Waterhole Rituals before putting Dodger into any type of training. I would’ve learned the language of horses better and he would’ve learned the herd instincts he missed from being orphaned so early in life—the very instincts that make horses easy to train. Together we would’ve built a foundation and a connection to help us learn how to work together that much faster.

But that’s water under the bridge. Even though I’m still going to use the Waterhole Rituals to grow our relationship, I’ve learned to recognize and understand what motivates him and what frustrates him. I’ve learned the importance of my intention, and my need to focus my energy. For someone like me who leaks energy like a sieve in general, that’s been my biggest challenge and Dodger’s a relentless reminder.

He starts out each time we’re together by reading me on all three levels—body signals, intention, and energy. Then typically I’ll notice I’ve lost his focus and he’ll see only what he wants to see from me. Whether he’s messing with me or mimicking me, it reminds me what it’s like to work with someone who’s lost their focus.

I agree with those who say horses are great teachers. They are…when humans are open to learning. It always fascinates me to watch kids with horses. When there’s no guile and no agenda, horses don’t seem to require conscious effort. It makes me wonder…if I could strip myself of all my adultishness, what would Dodger be like?

New-fangled in this case because of the many foam insert combinations Skito Pad offers to stuff into velcro’d pouches on both sides of the pad which fill the dips and curves of each horse’s back perfectly. Now, when my new treeless saddle comes, the pad will offer firm foam support in all the right places. Theoretically.

The saddle should arrive this week. I bought it from Cheryl Burt at Equivisions Farm who reps Sports Saddle® treeless saddles. She did an outstanding job helping me customize my saddle from the myriad of options, offering her experienced opinions when I wasn’t sure, and I’m now at the end of my 6-8 week wait. I’m excited! Stay tuned.

June kind of flew by. After Dodger’s big circus day, he pretty much took June off. We had tried to get him to go barefoot, but he has too many things going on with his conformation and flat, thin soles that don’t make him a good candidate for it at this time. I got him some fancy Renegade boots and glued in some foam pads which helped as long as he was going in a straight line, but they tended to turn on his feet when he tried any fancy footwork. Finally…3 days ago, he had grown out enough to get a set of new shoes put on. Now, he’s good as new but it’s darn near July 1. Tomorrow, he goes into his third month of serious training.

But June was not a total loss. We had some great times together. Just hanging out in his paddock a lot together, and yesterday, I spent a couple of hours with him in bliss. Why bliss? Because he did everything I asked of him, and nothing I didn’t. We played with obstacles in the arena, he stood quietly and waited when I needed him to, and I rode him in the arena, with no one else around, and he actually got into it! He moved out when I asked with little leg pressure, and he stayed mentally engaged. That’s really huge for him. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever experienced that while riding him in an arena. It was a perfect time together.

Today, he had all the sharp points filed off his teeth, and he’s good to go. Horse Beach Camp is coming up in August, and we’re going to be ready!